Month: September 2018

Wigan Zoo set to display a rare Jacob Rees-Mogg

Curators at Wigan Zoo, one of the finest animal sanctuaries in Britain, have announced their latest prize exhibit, a Jacob Rees-Mogg (Poshtwaticus Poshtwaticus).

The Zoo had heard rumours of the existence of the mythical “Super Posh Tory”, but they never thought a live display would be possible. Their plans received a boost when they got Lottery Funding, to allow them to prepare a small castle, the Bertie Wooster Wing, in which to house the exhibit. Continue reading “Wigan Zoo set to display a rare Jacob Rees-Mogg”

Little Englanders demand golf respects the views of Brexit and stops including bloody foreigners in the Ryder Cup

Little Englanders, such as Naughty Nigel, Bonking Boris, Mad Michael and Jolly Jakes believe Brexit means Brexit. Now the Little Englanders have gone full gammon after seeing the EU Flags flying during the Ryder Cup. They want golf to respect the views of all Brexiteers and bin all them damn foreigners.

Interviewed in the Brussels sponsored EU Corporate Entertainment suite at the Ryder Cup, Naughty Nigel wanted to know what the golfing authorities thought they were doing including foreigners on the same team as England and Norn Ireland. Continue reading “Little Englanders demand golf respects the views of Brexit and stops including bloody foreigners in the Ryder Cup”

RIP Gobby Robinson fearless champion of free speech and England’s saviour

Today all England grieves for the loss of this modern day St George, killed when his Bentley Continental hit a lorry load of gammon, on the M1.

Like many truth and justice campaigners he’d a chequered history prior to his revelation that there was money and power to be had from demonising minorities.

Stephen Yaxley-Lennon experimented with many names before settling on a something that would resonate well with the those from a more urban background. He abandoned Andrew McMaster as it was too Scottish and Paul Harris because of its connotations with the other famous Harris, Rolf.  Gobby Robinson, it appears, was more in line with the names of those brave soldiers who died building the British Empire. Continue reading “RIP Gobby Robinson fearless champion of free speech and England’s saviour”

The Great Scottish Whisky Robbery – Whisky Galore 2

Over the last 15 years, sales of Scotch have boomed. This River of Gold has fuelled stunning growth in the Scottish Economy and it’s all down to one man.

Sitting in an Edinburgh Pub an Advertising Executive, called Daniel Mallen, had a very clever idea. As he watched some English golfers, sound off about their Whiskies, he noticed  they tried to out do the other with evermore superlative, and knowledgeable, descriptions of the whisky. It was fruity, smoky, oaky, cokey, fragrant, chocolatey, apparently it had a lovely nose and a long finish. Continue reading “The Great Scottish Whisky Robbery – Whisky Galore 2”

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