Trumpety Trump

Has Trump been at it again? He posts tweet proudly announcing “Florence is Coming”

Once again Donald Trump has become embroiled in another sensational storm, this time with the mysterious Florence. He took to twitter, to publicly announce “Florence was coming” and apparently she was “coming like a hurricane”.

It surprised many of his friends, in the porn industry, that Donald was able to tweet at such a pivotal moment. Although this isn’t the first time he has been caught in a Stormy liaison.  Accounts of his previous exploits suggests he lacked the necessary, to enable such a reaction in a lady.

One commentator wondered if “Florence'” was simply responding to her repulsion at the presence of the naked orangutan, or, perhaps undergoing an epileptic fit and this violent response led to his mis-interpretation of events.

Mystery surrounds the identity of his latest paramour. The President has already denied Florence was a Hooters waitress, who alleged she had sex with him in the restaurant toilet during her evening shift.

One tweet claimed, Hooters food was not his favourite and he’d never have been there, let alone have had bathroom sex. Unbelievably, he added the last place he’d be seen was in a bar, with scantily clad, busty young women. No, they come to his house.

He also repeated his denial about being into water sports, pointing out that this time there weren’t any photos.

Mr Trump did admit to a childhood fantasy about a Magic Roundabout character called Florence. It’s thought he has long dreamed of getting his tiny hands on a lifeless, plastic doll. According to public record, he and Florence never met and, sadly, their affair was never consummated and his desires remain unsatisfied. Melania was unavailable for comment.

There is no sign of the vigorous Septuagenarian giving up his lascivious behaviour. His tweets indicated Carolina was next for a stormy night of furious banging, apparently she is “going to receive a right battering”. Our thoughts are with her at this difficult time.

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