As the country digests the news of a new ginger Royal child, bookmakers have installed James and Thomas as joint favourite names in the event that it’s a boy. “There’s a long tradition of a nod to the names of previous generations in most families, so it doesn’t seem unreasonable that one or other of the grandfathers should see their name handed down,” said a spokesman for Paddy Power. “And if it’s a girl, the early money is on Diana, although of course, we like Fergie at 50/1.”
One unnamed Royal is believed to be less pleased with the announcement. “They only bloody told The Queen at my wedding. Talk about selfish. It was my day and everyone was cooing about the baby. They had their day in May, now they’ve hogged the limelight at mine. Bastards. I’m interested in the due date. Let’s see if she was up the duff when they got married. Hmmph.”
Meanwhile, The Duke and Duchess Of Sussex are celebrating the pregnancy with a free of charge trip to Australia. “The tax pounds saved by disallowing the proposed four week stopover in Tahiti and Fiji on the way home will now be allocated to a new nursery at Kensington Palace,” beamed a proud spokesperson for HMRC.