The Premiere League sees the welcome return of the club calendar, that bloated, overstuffed, overhyped schedule of unmissable clashes between Cardiff and Fulham, Leicester City and Themselves, Newcastle United and the Large Man Who Owns Newcastle United and, of course, that titanic struggle between Jose Mourinho and the concept of sanity.
Superstar, Kanye West has finally commented on his recent meeting with The President and revealed the real reason why he’s changed his name to YE.
Kanye was invited to The White House, for a super meeting with Donald Trump. Kanye expressed his love and admiration for The President. To which Mr Trump told him that to honour Kanye’s support for the “Make America Great Again” campaign, and to show he’s down with his homey’s, he’s renamed part of The White House, The West Wing.
Following the recent row about changing Mansize tissues to a gender neutral term, one manufacturer has decided to expand their range, and cater for everyone.
Barry Loke, speaking for Stereotypical Tissues Inc, explained, “This is a tremendous opportunity for us to cash in on free publicity. We’ve decided to launch niche ranges of tissues, with the eventual aim of covering every cheap stereotype.”
There has been a bit of confusion at the Royal Mail. This personal invitation to Piers Morgan was incorrectly delivered to our office.
It seems that the Saudi’s have been getting advice on how to restore their world wide reputation, following the Jamal Kashoggi incident. They have decided to invite another internationally renowned reporter to the Saudi Arabian Consulate in Istanbul, for a personal interview.