Monkey Games

Proposed EURO Super League gets fans approval as they realise no-one wants to watch Southampton anyway

With the news this week that top European clubs were planning to form a breakaway 16-team European ‘super-league’ in 2021, there has been an outpouring of excitement and joy from football fans across the globe. We caught up with a few to gather their thoughts.

“It’s a wonderful opportunity” said Everett Blatt, a football fan from Dorking with a joint honours’ degree in Military History and Saturday Afternoon Pints with the Lads, “As an Everton supporter I’m delighted by the idea that we could not even be involved at all.”

Henry Bickle, a Palace fan, told us “Look, when was the last time anyone outside the top-six won the title anyway? Exactly. Not since 2016. It’s ludicrous. There’s just no competition anymore.”

Detractors have suggested that the European Super League will severely devalue domestic competitions while simultaneously creating a completely pointless exhibition league in which big teams would trot the globe competing for incredibly minor stakes in front of fans who’ve never even Googled their home cities, but Bickle dismisses this concern, “Look, whenever you come up with a sh*t idea like this, people are gonna try and tear it down. They’ll say the usual ‘What the f*ck is wrong with these f*cking people?’ –  but they’re missing the bigger picture. Nobody actually wants to watch Southampton. Luckily, thanks to the European Super League, now they won’t have to.”

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