Monkey Games

Scottish Fitba sells television rights for 4 pints of Heavy, 3 sausage rolls and packet of Cheese and Onion crisps

Scottish fans were outraged when details of the latest fitba deal were announced. TV Sports giant, Sly, bought the tv rights to all Scottish League and Cup Fitba after a particularly long and heavy session in the Hey Pal pub in Glasgow’s East End.

Fitba fans across the nation feel their fitba has been demeaned and devalued by this cut price deal. Ginger Macreadie said “Aye, I ken we’re shite but we shuld a held oot for tattie scone.”

Several other Neds were so incensed by the deal it was impossible to make out a word they were saying.

Giles from Sly Sports explained, “Look the deal was done in good faith. We feel we’ve been more than generous with this offer. It is important to put into context exactly how few people want to watch Dundee v Falkirk on a Wednesday night. You’d get more viewers for a rerun of Crossroads.”

He went on to explain, its not only the number of viewers that’s important, it’s also about who wants to advertise themselves during the game. The market for recycled deep fat fryer oil is severely limited and class A drugs are still illegal.

“We tried selling a monthly sub package for fitba, but they all lapsed after a month. Turns out, not even the Scots want to watch Scottish fitba.”

Ginger had the last word, “This sends a message to the rest of the world that our fitba’s not worth nuttin. A tattie scone and a bottle a Buckie wuld’nae break the bank and at least we’d ave a bit a pride.”

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