Month: November 2018

As Wayne Rooney wends his way to his retirement home the FA lines up a grand finale

This week Wayne Rooney will take a break from slaying the North American Soccer League (aka ‘Sunshine Meadows Retirement Home for the Slightly Too Slow to Play in Europe’) and return to the land in which he made his name.

This is, of course, in order to celebrate his international highlights; getting sent-off against Portugal and performing shambolically over a succession of major tournaments. Continue reading “As Wayne Rooney wends his way to his retirement home the FA lines up a grand finale”

22 Year old intern, Giles Cavendish is the surprise appointment as the new Brexit Secretary

Following the expected resignation of Dominic Raab and most of Theresa May’s ministerial team, the Prime Minster makes a stunning political manoeuvre, designed to completely wrongfoot herself, by appointing a 22 year old graduate, Giles Cavendish, to the post of Brexit Secretary. Continue reading “22 Year old intern, Giles Cavendish is the surprise appointment as the new Brexit Secretary”

Finally, the long awaited return of the nations favourite game show, ‘I’m a Conservative, Somebody Get Me Out of Here’

This week sees the return of the much loved game show, I’m a Conservative, Somebody Get Me Out of Here.

The new season sees a thrilling new format, presaged by a series of preliminary heats which saw 8 Conservatives leave the camp ahead of the live final. Some contestants were clearly unhappy about leaving early, especially as they’re having to get by on a newspaper columnists salary, of £275,000 a year. Continue reading “Finally, the long awaited return of the nations favourite game show, ‘I’m a Conservative, Somebody Get Me Out of Here’”

Finally, the long awaited return of the nations favourite game show, ‘I’m a Conservative, Somebody Get Me Out of Here’

This week sees the return of the much loved game show, I’m a Conservative, Somebody Get Me Out of Here.

The new season sees a thrilling new format, presaged by a series of preliminary heats which saw 8 Conservatives leave the camp ahead of the live final. Some contestants were clearly unhappy about leaving early, especially as they’re having to get by on a newspaper columnists salary, of £275,000 a year. Continue reading “Finally, the long awaited return of the nations favourite game show, ‘I’m a Conservative, Somebody Get Me Out of Here’”

Only Money Matters

In the clearest message yet to Government, business has confirmed that it cares only about money and the environment can go hang.

Glib messages on corporate websites about social and environmental responsibility have turned out to be bollocks and, with uncertainty around the corner blamed on Brexit and the Government’s piss poor handling of the negotiations, big businesses want the world to know that Only Money Matters. Continue reading “Only Money Matters”

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