Month: December 2018

Tory leadership challenge to use cage fighting to determine the Ultimate FC

Ina  radical re-modernisation the upcoming Tory Leadership Contest is to be decided by cage fighting with the winner becoming the ‘Ultimate Fu**ing C**t’.

Standard UFC Rules apply; no hair-pulling, scratching, name calling, although back-stabbing is mandatory. The winner is the last FC standing. Continue reading “Tory leadership challenge to use cage fighting to determine the Ultimate FC”

Theresa May writes to Sir Graham saying she no longer has any confidence in herself

Logo

House of Commons
Office of The Prime Minister
Theresa May
10 Downing Street
London
SW1A 2AA
To: Sir Graham Brady MP
Chair 1922 Committee
House of Commons
London
SW1A 0AA

 

Dear Sir Graham,

It is with a tremendous sense of relief I write to you, to express my complete lack of confidence in myself. Continue reading “Theresa May writes to Sir Graham saying she no longer has any confidence in herself”

Is a career in IT all it’s cracked up to be?

After leaving school Mavis was keen to pursue a career in IT but ended up working on a Broadband helpline. 

“I was really keen on IT, I thought it was a fast changing, growing industry with really good career prospects and where it wouldn’t matter that I was a woman.”

She added, “My Computer Science degree should have allowed me to find a job where I could develop my skills and build a career but it never happened. After a year of applications, interviews and rejections, I was desperate so a I took a job on a Broadband helpline.” Continue reading “Is a career in IT all it’s cracked up to be?”

Sorry about Brexit, says Charles Darwin

Charles Darwin has interrupted his 136-year death to correct a fundamental error in his seminal “On the Origin of Species”.

While many of Darwin’s assertions remain unquestionably true, such as religion being utterly batshit and pigeons being dinosaurs in disguise, the bearded Victorian revenant apologised for underestimating humanity’s ability to produce Brexit. Continue reading “Sorry about Brexit, says Charles Darwin”

Ever looked at a satirical news story and thought “I can do better than that”? Well, why not give it a go?

We are an online, topical, poo flinging satirical news site, looking to carve out our little niche on the internet. Because we’re new, we’ve a unique opportunity for budding writers to join us. Continue reading “Ever looked at a satirical news story and thought “I can do better than that”? Well, why not give it a go?”

The Chatty Chimp is owned and operated by Chattychimp Ltd