Monkey Business

Department Store accidently hires Satan for this year’s Christmas Grotto

Due to an unfortunate spelling error, House of Frasier has accidently hired Satan, Lord of Evil, Devourer of Worlds and Harvester of Souls to dish out the Christmas presents to all the little children.

Unfortunately the mistake happened when a dyslexic intern was charged with booking Santa and his little helpers. When the agency returned the contracts, she didn’t realise they’d mis-spelled Santa, and they’d contractually booked Satan. 

They first became aware of the problem when Satan turned up in the Staff Canteen, ready for work. Understandably, fearing for their mortal souls, no-one in management was willing to tell The Lord of MisRule that there had been an infernal cock-up.

Satan, himself said,”I wasn’t sure about taking the job at first but this represents a new opportunity for Satan Industries. The image of the Eternal Pit of Despair has been a bit tarnished over the last few years, this  sort of publicity will really help.”

He went on to say, “I didn’t realise what a sea of negativity the grotto queue was. All those whining children, the stressed out parents, its a gold mine. We’ve all of the deadly sins, in abundance, it’s glorious.”

HoF spokesman, Gary Pernile said, “Initially, it seemed disastrous, but we’ve been busier than ever. Attendance is up on last year, we’ve had second rate guitarists and candidates for The Apprentice queuing around the block.”

The Store went on to confirm Satan has already signed on for next year and they’re negotiating Easter and Halloween appearances too.

Demand for Satan’s Grotto is high, so book early. Entry is one eternal soul per family.

Categories: Monkey Business

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