Monkey Business

NRA resort to Thoughts & Prayers to save them from financial ruin

Following the recent announcement that the National Rifle Association (NRA) has run into financial difficulty, it has decided to really see if God is on their side.

As funding has dried up, The NRA, is urging its members to pray really, really hard for a financial, Xmas, miracle.

Whilst The NRA exists to ensure that the fundamental right to shoot school children is firmly enshrined in the American constitution, it’s no stranger to commenting on religious matters.

It has been a strong advocate of the use of Thoughts & Prayers to make everything alright again, following a mass shooting event. It feels that relentless beseeching of the Invisible Sky Daddy, really serves to shut up those who think you shouldn’t give guns to nutters.

Their philosophy of it being God’s will is the bedrock of their faith. So, to avoid being hypocritical, when they ran into financial difficulty they decided to turn to prayer as the solution.

Billy Bob-Bob explained, “Things started to go wrong when we saw an increase in mass shootings, as this was generating negative publicity we had to spend more money bribing senators and on our publicity campaign. We did try asking the Senators for some of the money back but they were less than keen. That meant we had to think of other ways to raise money, unfortunately most of our members would rather spend their money on ammunition, alcohol and tattoos, leaving few options, prayer seemed the obvious choice.”

Meanwhile anti gun campaigners were pissing themselves with laughter.

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