Monkey News

Jacob Rees-Mogg gets Hampshire for Xmas

In answer to the question: What do you get the man who has everything? the answer is the county of Hampshire.

As his family sat around the dinner table, wondering what to get the Pater Familias for this Yuletide season, one of the younger members suggested giving him a county. 

Apparently the family got the idea after their friend Lizzie, got her Grandson Sussex as a wedding present.

It seems that presenting a county as a gift is the latest must have, on trend accessory, for the super-rich, men of the people.

Initially, at a bit of a loss as to how to purchase a county, it was on to Amazon and they did the rest.

Hampshire was chosen because it was a civilised county in the South of England, with good rail links to the city centre and some nice berths for the Yachts.

The family did consider a Northern County but felt that the atmosphere may be a little too rough for Jacob’s sensibilities. Scotland was out, as Conservatives aren’t very welcome. Wales was taken and the West Country was a bit on the cheap side, it would have been the equivalent of shopping at Lidl.

Jacob was said to be delighted with the gift, as he can put a toll on the M3 and make another fortune.

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