After an almost unbearable wait, details, teasers and some gratuitous nudity from the final season of Game of Thrones, have been released.

Apparently, the latest series of GoT will feature some big men fighting with swords for no other reason than they make a nice clanging noise and easily fill five minutes of screen time. 

The action will build to a climatic, bloody CGI battle nicked from Lord of The Rings.

At various intervals women will get their tits out, much to the gratification of teenage boys and men who can’t find porn on the internet.

A key character will be, unexpectedly, slain and there’ll be some gratuitous torture to allow it to be described as ‘realistic’.

The dwarf will behave badly, say something funny and then roll around with some young ladies with their tits out. 

Someone will say something portentous, or pretentious, which will be endlessly discussed on fan sites and Social Media, to no point whatsoever.

There will be more tits and a dragon, before the fat boy intervenes to save the day.

A veteran actor will take a small but important part to win an Emmy, get a big cheque or please his grandchildren, before dragging out his inevitable death scene.

There will be another fight, a dragon and some more tits.

It will be acclaimed as the greatest drama series, in the history of television, until the next one comes along, then Bobby will wake up in the shower and find it was all a dream, bought on by excessive cheese consumption.

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Written by Joe The Greek

Joe The Greek is a man of many words and considerable girth. Never shy when it comes to the bar and buffet table.