Startling world news today, when Donald Trump unexpectedly announced his immediate resignation, as President of The United States. World leaders were surprised and delighted at this sudden burst of good news. All tried to claim credit and confirmed they knew it was going to happen.
President Trump issued a statement explaining the reason for this sudden decision, “I’d just finished my McDonald’s and was having a quiet ten on the toilet, reading my twitter feed, when I saw a tweet, sent by Gav from Eastbourne. It called me a giant orange balloon and said I was doing a crap job. It then suggested I leave quickly and go and play golf.”
His statement went on to add, “It was like an epiphany. I suddenly realised I was not up to the job and I should jack it in. It was as though a great weight had been lifted from me. When I informed Congress and the Senate, there was much cheering and joy, which was a bit of a surprise.”
Meanwhile, after being hailed as a Hero, and Saviour of the World, Gav was being incredibly modest about his achievement, “Look, I haven’t got a super-power or anything. All that happened was that I saw a particularly stupid tweet he’d sent out, I got really angry about it and responded, next thing you know the balloon has jacked it in.”
Flushed with his success, Gav has offered to try his hand at sorting out Brexit and is currently working on a devastating put down and some timely advice, to resolve the country’s greatest problem.
Categories: Monkey News