The Monkey Graveyard

RIP – James Dyson, inventor and hypocrite, 1947-2019

The renowned technology inventor, James Dyson, has passed away, aged 71.

Dyson, creator of the bagless vacuum cleaner and other gadgets we didn’t know we needed, was Britain’s ninth richest person. He died suddenly today of Galloping Hypocrisy, a condition which, though not uncommon, is rarely so severe that it kills.

One of the most prominent and vocal supporters of the Leave campaign, Dyson really stood his ground. Leave really did Mean Leave, as it was announced only nine weeks before Brexit date, that the Dyson Company is relocating its headquarters away from Malmesbury to Singapore, where a trading deal with the EU bloc is well established. Keen that the U.K. leaves the EU, the hypocrisy was so breath-taking that Dyson literally could not breathe and expired very suddenly.

Dyson had already relocated the manufacturing side of its business to Malaysia some years ago.  “This has nothing to do with Brexit,” company spokesman Ian Napton said, on the same day that Airbus, another Westcountry-based engineering giant, confirmed that France looked a better place to be and in the same week that Sony said it fancies Holland as it’s new HQ.

Owning more land than The Queen, Dyson had discovered the Inheritance Tax benefits of acquiring farmland. His estate will celebrate saving hundreds of millions of pounds of tax with a party for farmers.

James Dyson, inventor and hypocrite, 1947-2019.

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