Month: February 2019

Project Fear in overdrive as Porsche plan to charge Brits 10% more to look like a twat

As it becomes clearer that people are bulk-buying essential items ahead of Brexit and confidence in the supply chain is diminishing, the latest previously undisclosed blow to the nation’s wellbeing has come to light.

Porsche has announced that they want customers to sign a clause in their purchase contracts agreeing to a potential tariff of 10% for cars delivered after Britain leaves the EU. Continue reading “Project Fear in overdrive as Porsche plan to charge Brits 10% more to look like a twat”

Do you have an affinity with the written word? A liking for a joke? Fancy seeing your work published? Then, come and join an infinite number of monkeys working on their Hamlet

We are an online, topical, poo flinging satirical news site, looking to carve out our little niche on the internet. We write stories about everyday life in the Monkey House. 

One of our aims is to give new writers a platform to have their work published. To urge funny people to put finger to keyboard, in 250 words or less, and tell us something we hadn’t thought of. 
Continue reading “Do you have an affinity with the written word? A liking for a joke? Fancy seeing your work published? Then, come and join an infinite number of monkeys working on their Hamlet”

Launch of UK’s last remaining production car, The Plonker, doesn’t go well

As the last of the major UK based car makers, announces plans to shift production overseas, one plucky British company, The Trotters, launch their new four door saloon, The Plonker.

Unfortunately, launch day didn’t go as planned, the millennial models they hired were only used to automatics and drove the car straight into the River. Continue reading “Launch of UK’s last remaining production car, The Plonker, doesn’t go well”

Honda smashes Nissan in the race for the Brexit Door

Red-faced executives at the Nissan plant in Sunderland are expecting harsh words from their bosses in Japan tomorrow morning as their counterparts at Honda’s Swindon factory stole a march by announcing the closure of their factory first.

Sunderland, the poster town for Vote Leave, realised it had dropped a clanger roughly twenty seconds after polls closed at the 2016 EU Referendum, and Remainers everywhere have scoffed ever since at people voting to become unemployed. Now Swindon has joined in on the act, also voting Leave and succeeding in closing a major local employer in consequence, but doing it first. Continue reading “Honda smashes Nissan in the race for the Brexit Door”

Britannia Updates her Facebook Relationship status to ‘It’s Complicated’

After a rather difficult weekend, Britannia has updated her Facebook relationship status to, ‘It’s Complicated’.

As the on/off relationship with her sexy European Pen-Pal, Jean-Claude Schmidt, comes to an inglorious and messy end, Britannia has gone on one disastrous date after another.  Continue reading “Britannia Updates her Facebook Relationship status to ‘It’s Complicated’”

After Chelsea’s 6-0 drubbing some football pundiots ask; What is going wrong with Sarri Ball?

Chelsea’s fag-chomping Italian supremo, Maurizio Sarri, has come in for some tough criticism this week after their 6-0 drubbing away to Man City. The mauling has prompted a number of incisive tactical analysis, which have driven at the heart of where things are going wrong with so-called ‘Sarri ball’.   Continue reading “After Chelsea’s 6-0 drubbing some football pundiots ask; What is going wrong with Sarri Ball?”

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