In a surprise announcement, Seaborne Freight has won the award for Outstanding Ferry Company of the Year at this years Cargo Freight Awards.
Director of the Awards Committee, Ian Napton, explained, “There was only one contender. Seaborne were the most punctual and reliable, they never missed a sailing. Additionally they secured a £14 million government contract and the ringing endorsement of a Senior Cabinet Minister. Our customer satisfaction survey showed they were the only company to get no complaints, which is an outstanding achievement. It’s important to acknowledge the valuable work they have done in raising the profile of the cargo freight industry and we are delighted to recognise the work of this outstanding British company.”
The Minister for Transport, Chris Grayling, said, “I told you I was right to give them my full support, this confirms I knew what I was doing all along. It’s nothing like Boris and his bloody bridge.”
The presentation of the award is not without its critics, who claim that; they had no boats, no port, no customers and they were a pizza shop in disguise who’ve now had their contract cancelled, making a mockery of the award.
The committee believe it’s more than boats that make a ferry company, its their culture, beliefs and ambition. Seaborne did what we all want to do, make money from doing nothing. At the end of the day, as long as the figures add up, who cares?.
Categories: Monkey Business