Monkey Business

Project Fear in overdrive as Porsche plan to charge Brits 10% more to look like a twat

As it becomes clearer that people are bulk-buying essential items ahead of Brexit and confidence in the supply chain is diminishing, the latest previously undisclosed blow to the nation’s wellbeing has come to light.

Porsche has announced that they want customers to sign a clause in their purchase contracts agreeing to a potential tariff of 10% for cars delivered after Britain leaves the EU.

Ian Napton, a Porsche buyer, said, “This is costing me £9,000. Boris didn’t put that on the side of a bus, did he? He didn’t say your 911 Turbo’s going to bleed you dry before you even have the keys, did he? Bastard.

Wilhelm Naptonstein, Porsche’s European Sales Director said from Stuttgart, “Ve vant our autos to sell in every country, but ze British need to pay more for ze chaos zey are causing. Dumbkopfs.

The U.K. is Porsche’s second largest European market, selling 12,500 cars here last year, fully five per cent of worldwide sales. Naptonstein said, “Ve hope you see sense bevore it’s too late. Oh and take down your stupid speed cameras.”

Boris Johnson was unavailable for comment, hopefully on a London street somewhere, under the front wheels of a Porsche.

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