Guinness being slowly pouredMonkey News

As the Brexapocalypse looms everyone is claiming an Irish passport

As the Brexapocalypse looms, applications for an Irish Passport have reached record levels. Wealthy Brits see it as a form of insurance against leaving the EU.

Irish Government spokesman, Rory Napton said, “We’re knocking passports out at £2,000 a pop to anyone who wants one, it’s a great money-spinner.”

Giles Brandywine from Surrey, explained why he got one; “We visit Europe several times a year; skiing, a couple of weeks in Tuscany and a bit of golf, so the last thing we need is a hold up at passport control.”

“My brother Rodney popped over to Dublin for the rugger, and he saw the airport were advertising Irish Passports for sale. Apparently if you stay overnight and drink 3 pints of Guinness, you automatically qualify as Irish. Although it was a bit tricky getting the baby to drink the Guinness, it seemed like such a good idea for everyone to become Irish.”

Asked whether he thought there was anything ‘unpatriotic’ about getting an Irish passport, Giles says; “It’s not like we are going to live there and if they are happy to take our money, we’re happy to save 10 minutes a trip. Top O’ T’ Morning to you!”

Rory Napton did confirm that the whole scheme would fall apart if everyone who bought a passport came to live in Ireland. That’s why new passport holders have to sign a declaration stating that they will only visit Ireland for stag and hen do’s, golf, Guinness and to watch England get beaten at Rugby.

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