Cornish Pasty stocks are dangerously low. Emergency planning is underway, as it emerges that the country’s supply of proper pasties is in peril, as a result of Brexit.
Speaking in Padstow, Ian Napton from the Steak and Tiddy bakery said, “It’s a joke. Fatty Cameron came down here for his holidays banging on about a referendum on leaving the EU. As a result of his efforts, we supported him. Now there’s going to be a hard border between Cornwall and England. We won’t be able to get pasties out of Cornwall, without sampling at customs. Have you seen a Customs Officer eat? There’ll be nothing left. Nobody will have Cornish Pasties to sell, dreckly.”
EU negotiators require a Cornish backstop to prevent an overnight physical border on the A30, but hardline Brexiteers are demanding no such backstop is allowed. “Boris didn’t put this on the side of his bus, did he?” wailed Napton.
It’s not all bad news for the Cornish Pasty industry because the imposition of a hard border will restrict supply of Cornish Pasties, so pushing up prices. There will be new job opportunities in traditional Cornish industries, such as Pasty smuggling.
Petrol station owners all over the country have been reassured that their supply of Ginsters, whose premises are close to the border, will be unaffected. “Nothing they make is even close to being a proper pasty so it won’t be affected by the changes.” Napton added.
Meanwhile Brexit continues.
The Origins of The Cornish Pasty Story
This story comes from a mixture of sources. Colin has a deep love of all things Cornish, especially pasties. Additionally, there is a campaign for an independent Cornwall which combines nicely with Brexit and the backstop saga.
Categories: Monkey Business