Ian McNapton, Scotland’s Minister for Sport, has put forward a motion to make March 22nd a new Bank Holiday. Mr McNapton was trying to restore the nation’s morale after the side’s disastrous performances in the recent Euro20 qualifying games.

Unfortunately, everyone who saw Scotland play thought, “Same shite, different day. This lot would manage to finish second in a game of Solitaire”

When Mr McNapton was asked why, on what must surely be a day of national mourning for the death of Scottish Football, he wanted a new Bank Holiday, the Minister replied, “This was truly a day of national celebration. A day when we can all be proud to call ourselves Scottish. When we can come together as a nation and stop fighting our eternal enemies, The Scots.”

Pressed further, Mr McNapton went on to explain that for the first time in a generation the Scots would be represented at the final of a major football tournament. With the team’s ejection from the competition in the first round, it was almost certain the final would be refereed by Scottish Match officials.

One Scottish Football fan commented, “Aye, I hadnay thought of that.” before treating everyone in earshot to a rousing chorus of “Scoootlaaand, Scoootlaaand. Whose the bastard in the black? “Me Da, its me Da. Scoootlaaand.”


The Origins of the Scottish Bank Holiday Story

As Scotland suffered another embarrassing football defeat, this time at the hands of Kazakhstan, we felt it was only right to pile in.

It was in a spirit of positivity and cheery optimism that The Crown Prince suggested the Bank Holiday idea.

This is not the first time that we have had something to say on the subject of referees; https://chattychimp.co/2019/03/08/controversial-new-football-rules/

The Daily Record bemoaned the lack of Scottish Referees at the last World Cup, hence our optimism this time; https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/fifa-reveal-world-cup-referees