Withdrawal ActMonkey News

MP’s to vote on what to call Theresa’s Withdrawal Act

Theresa May brings her Withdrawal Act back to Parliament for the third time. The Speaker, John Bercow has told her she can only bring it back if it’s substantively different.

Following a late night strategy planning session with Baldric, she has come up with a cunning plan. Instead of voting for the whole package in one go, Parliament will be asked to vote on it in stages, making it significantly different. That way no-one will notice it’s the same thing.So, MP’s will start the process by voting on what to call it.

Initially, it was called the Withdrawal Act, but some people didn’t like this, so it became the Withdrawal Agreement (Ironic). Then; The Withdrawal Accord, The EU/UK WA, The WA UK/EU, The WA NK/ER, Exodus 2 -The Return and one suggestion from JRM, Up Yours Delours!

After 2 and half years of wrangling it looks as though ‘The Withdrawal Act’ will win. If MP’s agree, and the vote passes, Theresa May can use this to get a further extension on Brexit.

However, MP’s will then have to return to the House on Monday to vote on line one; ‘On this day, 29th of March 2019, we the people of England, Scotland, Wales, Norn Ireland and all the dependent territories do hereby…..’

It’s expected that MP’s will try to delay the passage of the bill by stating a different date, voting for a different calendar system, replacing the word people with a more politically correct version and redefining the geographical areas.

A revised Brexit completion timetable has been issued by The Prime Minister. It expects the Withdrawal Act will be completed by the time hell freezes over or Jeremy Corbyn becomes Prime Minister, which ever is soonest.

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