Fighters at WTF Wrestling have been queuing up at Birmingham Primark in order to hone key combat skills.
Wrestling coaches were amazed at the strength, speed and physical co-ordination shown by bargain hunting Primark shoppers. They also found Primark customers power to weight ratio presented their wrestlers with a “bloody good workout“.
Gillian Napton, Professional Wrestler, “The Saturday morning store opening session is particularly gruelling. Initially, the higher weight classes muster closest to the door where they’re better able to use bulk advantage. This moves the lighter and faster competitors to the back of the crowd.”
“Once the bell rings and the melee surges forward staying on your feet tests core body strength, balance and situational awareness. Gradually, as the flow stabilises the elbows and knees come into play, creating space for you to work in. Its at this point our technique, help us really get stuck in.”
“You can’t replicate that kind of violence and mayhem in the ring. Importantly, the chaos teaches me to avoid distraction, ensuring I stay focused. So, far it’s worked well, I’ve got a lovely selection of tops, a £25 over coat and a Garfield Onsie.”
The new training ground has also proved a fertile recruiting ground. WTF have signed three new fighters. They are currently in training and they will make their debut at Wetherspoons, 241 happy hour, on Friday.
The Origins of the WTF Wrestlers train at Primark Story
This originally started with the BBC reporting on Pri-mania at the opening of the World’s largest Primark, in Birmingham. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/PRIMANIA
We had thought the shoppers wrestling story would be suitable for Black Friday or the Boxing Day sales, this was an opportunity to bring it forward.
This is not the first time we have covered the Brit’s love of shopping. In this case we were looking at the snobbery and rise of Artisanal Bakeries; https://chattychimp.co/artisinal?
Categories: Monkey Business