President Trump has been implicated in the suppression of yet another unfavourable news story. Details of the latest mass shooting, in the Land of the Free, were hushed up to protect Donald’s financial backers, the NRA.
Tragedy struck at Trump International Tower (TIT), Chicago. Demonstrations are commonplace outside El Presidente’s Penis so his Bulgarian security team are well prepared for any eventuality.
In this case a group of 23 Texan, Trump, supporters on an educational tour of ‘everything that is wrong with this once great country’ visited TIT. They vocalised their support for Donald by wearing the famous red hats, shouting loud, coordinated “yeehahs”, and waving their guns in the air.
Unfortunately, confronted by this horde of angry faces, the elite Bulgarian security detail thought they were shouting “jihad” and wasted them in a hail of automatic gunfire. The NRA badges worn proudly by the Texans were quickly removed to avoid embarrassing questions.
A Whitewash spokesperson went on to say any claims that President Trump’s Bulgarian security guards shot 23 of his loyalest supporters is Fake News. The rednecks died because they ate some bad shrimp at The Trumptation Restaurant, no bullets involved.
The Presidents PR Team referred to the incident as unfortunate. All of their thoughts and prayers are with the families of the generous supporters of the Trump campaign. The President hopes that he is remembered in their will’s.