Month: May 2019

Chatty wants you! If you think you could write something funny then why not, give it a go?

Writing is such hard work

The Chatty Chimp is a little online, topical, poo flinging satirical news site. We are looking to carve out our little niche on the internet. To that end our reporters spend their time writing stories about everyday life, here, in the Monkey House.

One of our aims is give new writers a platform to have their work published. To urge funny people to put fingers to keyboard, in 250 words or less, and tell us something we hadn’t thought of.  Continue reading “Chatty wants you! If you think you could write something funny then why not, give it a go?”

Bozo withdraws from Tory leadership race after Chris Grayling pledges his full support

Boris beaten off

Boris Johnson has withdrawn from the Tory Leadership campaign, after winning unequivocal endorsement from Chris Grayling.

Political pundits were surprised by Mr Grayling’s decision to support Boris. “At first we thought he was joking, perhaps he’d meant to announce his candidature but had somehow gotten it wrong again. However, it appears not, he was genuine.” said one. Continue reading “Bozo withdraws from Tory leadership race after Chris Grayling pledges his full support”

All of the Tory Leadership contenders promise their party will commit ‘Political Suicide’

Tory Party commits Political Suicide

The Conservative Party is heading for oblivion after the last candidate in the Tory leadership race promised leaving Brexit with No Deal was ‘Political Suicide’.

This completes a clean sweep of prospective Tory leaders who have all promised that under any of the Brexit options The Tory Party will commit ‘Political Suicide’. Continue reading “All of the Tory Leadership contenders promise their party will commit ‘Political Suicide’”

Woke parents disappointed following cancellation of the non-gendered carers Ovoid and Spoon race at non-competitive sports day

Hippie family

A controversial decision, relating to a school summer sports day, has vexed an enlightened  vegan couple.

Having successfully won their campaign to ban competitive children’s events, Olivia and Leaf Napton were outraged to discover the annual non-gendered Ovoid and Spoon race had been cancelled too. Continue reading “Woke parents disappointed following cancellation of the non-gendered carers Ovoid and Spoon race at non-competitive sports day”

Voting mix up sees BGT’s Dancing Dog elected as MEP

Dancing Dog gets more votes than Tommy Robinson

Following yet another classic British cock-up the electorate have managed to elect a Dancing Border Collie to sit in the European Parliament.

The confusion occurred as voting for Britain’s Got Talent was running simultaneously to the EU Elections. 20 Million people were casting their annual vote in favour of the dancing dog when someone at The Electoral Commission muddled up the ballots. Continue reading “Voting mix up sees BGT’s Dancing Dog elected as MEP”

The Chatty Chimp is owned and operated by Chattychimp Ltd