Landrovers converged en masse to London, to promote support for upper England’s bid to cull Chris Packham and his ‘tree-hugging’ traitors.
In response to Packham’s recent success in overturning hunting laws for ‘pest birds’, the ‘Tweed Troop’, felt compelled to rebalance their ‘rightful laws’ of exacting ‘God’s will, as the ‘countryside’s guardian.’
Speaking from his Discovery, Quentin Smythe-Smythe, complained, ‘Packham is damn great nuisance- an even bigger pest than the badgers and crows combined.’
Continuing his plea for common-sense to prevail, he added, ‘’My son Tarquin’s birthday celebrations, of wood pigeon hunting have been utterly ruined. Everybody was looking forward to gutting and defeathering the blighters to make Red Indian hats.’’
‘Tweed Troop’ spokespeople, rejected opposition claims, that there has been a 60% wildlife decrease, as ‘stuff n nonsense.’ They also denied that there’s an active cell ready to shoot city dwellers, who dare to venture into the country, in the event of an a nuclear attack.
Imploring the government to come to their senses, Bunty Fortesque raged, ‘Next thing you know, they’ll be giving bloody women the vote. Lord only knows where we will be then!’
Categories: Monkey Business