Appalled at the quality of the current candidates, and their frequent references to ‘what she would have done’, Maggie Thatcher has decided to return from the dead and stand for election as Leader of the Conservative Party.
This highly unusual step is being taken as the pool of potential leaders is considered to be, ‘the worst in living memory‘. Her supporters insist Maggie can once again unite the country, even if it’s in unadulterated hatred.
Considered to be a radical plan, it came about as some disgruntled Tory activists were sitting in the George & Dragon, lamenting the state of The Tory Party when, Giles Giles said, “Maggie would have sorted them out!”
The team appointed Ian Napton to arrange matters. He met a spiritualist called Rhonda, who agreed to go behind the veil in order to make a direct appeal to the Iron Lady. “We explained to Margaret that the situation was so bad, we were losing to the Liberal Democrats. She immediately agreed to come and help.”
When asked what the British People would make of having such a controversial figure in charge again, Ian explained, “It’s not about ‘The People’ but about what’s right for the party.”
“Those that hate Maggie aren’t going to vote Tory regardless of what we do. No, this is about getting Tory Voters away from The Brexit Party by appealing to their narrow minded, xenophobic hatred of everyone else.”