A major diplomatic contre temps has broken out over the disputed territory of Fukall*. Situated in the Atlantic, some 260 miles west of The Western Isles the uninhabitable volcanic rocky island is at the centre of an almighty row about Fukall.

Originally the dispute over Fukall started in 1955, when Britain claimed the territory as their own. This was challenged by Ireland, Denmark and Iceland all of whom felt they had a better claim to Fukall.

Over the years nothing much happened and Fukall remained unchanged.

However, as fish stock levels have fallen, the island is now at the centre of one of the last remaining, profitable, fishing grounds. With money at stake, people are suddenly interested in Fukall.

The British say they have a historical right to Fukall, the Irish claim that they’ve never had Fukall and it’s time that changed. The Danish said that as their territory was closest to Fukall it was theirs and Iceland said ‘You British with your double entendre and little jokes, You’re crazy! huh!’

Future PM Boris Johnson said that once he was leader, he’d ensure the first thing he did would be to ensure that Britain still ruled Fukall. He went on to confirm that the island was at the heart of his policy for a modern Britain and he was 110% committed to Fukall.

*Fukall may or may not be based on the little rocky outcrop known as Rockall in the Radio 4 Shipping Forecast.