Hipster traumatised after buying coffee from a chain

Millennial hipster, Skye Nation, was being comforted by friends after undergoing a traumatic coffee buying experience in the multi-national drinks chain, Café Costabucks.

Trouble started when his favourite trendy bespoke coffee shop was closed, due to a ‘pop-up muffin’ day. Skye was unable to attend due to his gluten sensitivity.

Used to very personal service, Skye was disappointed when the staff in Costabucks didn’t know his name. “How is that good customer care? I know I’ve never been there before but a big chain should have done their research. When I ordered my usual, the staff looked at me blankly. I actually had to tell my server that I wanted a double, decaffeinated, espresso!”

Matters worsened when he was forced to correct the spelling on his cup, his server had spelt Skye without an E. “It’s just too much, I felt they were mocking me.”

Ian Napton for Costabucks said, “He ordered a double decaffeinated espresso, FFS! We shouldn’t sell it but these hipsters keep coming in and ordering it. Idiots, the lot of them.”

Concordant self-identifiers among the hipperatti, said they were mounting a Facebook campaign, to highlight the daily suffering and discrimination hipsters face.  They’re demanding that all coffee shop staff know their name and have at least one non-gendered bearded server wearing a check shirt, or they will boycott the store.

“Good” said Mr Napton.