Bye Theresa, don't let the door hit you on the way outMonkey News

As Theresa’s last day at work approaches, Downing Street staff ponder ideas for a suitable leaving gift

As a bicycle rack is installed outside 10 Downing Street and a taxpayer-funded padlock is being wrapped as a welcome gift for the new Prime Minister, staff are preparing to say their farewells to Theresa May.

Ideas are being considered for what would constitute a suitable farewell gift, and a suggestion box has been left in the hallway, just behind the famous black front door, where all staff can discreetly leave suggestions.

Here at Chatty, we have a few suggestions of our own.

First up, how about anything at all, as long as it has red lines on it?
No? Then how about a nice piece of furniture? A book case, or a coffee table, perhaps? Something strong and stable?

Still no? Ok. How about an Abba CD? Something with Dancing Queen on it?
No? Really? We liked that one and it wouldn’t have cost too much.

A toy robot?

Oh come on. These are all good ideas.

Ah, this one, this one. How about a copy of “How to win friends and influence people?” You know, the updated version with the extra chapter, “How to win a vote in The Commons.”

Still no? Jeez, you guys are hard to please. 

“Scratches head.”

Got it. A nice framed map of the British Isles. She’ll like that. The country she loves.

Sorted.

Brexit continues, and it’s about to become a whole lot scarier.

It’s traditional, when someone leaves their job, to pass a card around the office. So, let us know your suggestions for Theresa May’s Goodbye Card and we will send her a suitable card with your best messages.

Send your comments via the comments box, Facebook or #TMLeavingCard on twitter

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Anonymous

Please don’t go, Theresa. Boris will be even worse.

chattychimp

You are not wrong.