Everyone deserves a fourth chance says Mo Salah

Man of the people and friend to all women, Mohammed Salah, has this weekend enhanced his reputation as a staunch feminist with his powerful and moving defence of Egyptian team-mate Warda who was sent home from the African Cup of Nations for sexually harrassing women online.

Salah, who has often been viewed as progressive on the issue of women’s rights, used Twitter to leap to his comrades’ defence, saying “We need to believe in second chances… we need to guide and educate. Shunning is not the answer.”

A twist in the issue arose when it became apparent that this was not Warda’s first offence, which led to Mo amending his statement, “We need to believe in third chances. Sending people home from tournaments is not the answer. If a man kills someone you don’t just send him to jail, you ask him politely not to do it again. If he kills another man then that is different, now you must give firm condemnation, maybe even doing it in the form of a letter. You might even want him to say he is a bit sorry.”

A further twist arose when it was discovered that Warda’s second offence was in fact his third offence. Mo was unfazed, “What is most important is that we believe in infinite chances for unrepentant pathological offenders with important positions in society. This is why I’m backing Boris to be the next Prime-Minister.”