Brexit Party storms to victory in the latest round of Statues

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Brexit Party caused up an upset in the adult round of the children’s game of Statues.

Held in Strasbourg, the latest round featured teams from all over Europe. The Germans were heavy favourites to win, although their recent form has been a little shaky.

The plucky Brexit Party signalled their intent when they entered the arena, holding hands. Initially, this seemed to be a demonstration of solidarity, although it turned out that it was to stop several of the squad wandering off in a demented haze.

It was courageous and inspiring captaincy that won the day.  Captain Pugwash realised that his team were likely to become distressed and agitated by the sight of their opponents, so he ordered his team to turn and face the wall in the hope that everyone else would go away.

Once the Brexiteers couldn’t see the opposition, they soon relaxed. Doris from Burnley was able to remain motionless as she recalled The Coronation, Bert from Essex controlled the midfield by thinking of a nice cup of tea and Gary from Doncaster played a blinder by mentally fondling his Blue Passport.

Captain Pugwash expressed the team’s disappointment that The National Anthem hadn’t been played at an International fixture, complaining that “they had played some German shit”.

Following some inappropriate social media comments, Sir Gary Lineker has been banned from commenting on the next round.