Brexit/Monkey News

British diplomats in Brussels are howling into the void

Having promised to ‘Up Tempo’ negotiations with the EU, many were left wondering who Boris’s staff were talking to. The EU have confirmed that there will be no renegotiation of the withdrawal agreement and as there was nothing to do, they’ve all trotted off to the South of France for a bit of R&R.

One of Boris’s top officials, Sir Ian Napton, let slip that they had in fact been howling into the bottomless void “Obviously it gets you down at first, you look over the edge and there is an endless sea of nothing. Anyway, after a while you realise that you’re having exactly the same feelings you had when they sent you to the Inland Revenue office in Bradford as a punishment posting. In the end you just get on with it, there isn’t really a choice.”

“Boris has told us to ‘Up Tempo’ so we’ve been singing ‘No Backstop’ endlessly into the dark emptiness. Turns out John has a lovely Baritone, Ruth is a bit of a Mezzo-Soprano and I can belt out a lovely Calypso. There might be room for us on Britain’s Got Talent.”

Sir Ian went on to explain, Boris knew the abyss was empty when he sent his negotiating team over to Brussels, the last thing he wanted was any form of agreement. The fact that there was nobody to talk to meant he could say ‘Hoc est non meus mendum*’.

Meanwhile Brexit continues.

*It was not my fault


Following on from the theme that the current crop of politicians have failed the country by acting in their own self interest we can’t help wondering if it is time to start again. With that in mind we were inspired to come up with a None Of The Above Tee Shirt. Perhaps we can vote them all out and start again?

#NoTA
None of The Above
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Written by Joe The Greek

Joe The Greek is a man of many words and considerable girth. Never shy when it comes to the bar and buffet table.
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