Jo Johnson has resigned the Johnson family whip

In what’s thought to be the first move of its kind, Jo Johnson told us, “I no longer find it conscionable to be the brother of Boris Johnson, and with regret, I have resigned from the position. I shall continue in my role as brother to Rachel.”

A spokesman for the Prime Minister insisted that personal matters do not impact on the running of the government and that his multiple marital infidelities, careless accounting and inability to disclose all relevant interests to the proper authorities did not make him unfit for office.

As the Prime Minister’s trustworthiness comes under increasing scrutiny and even members of his own family can’t trust him with a tenner, he has turned his ire in the only direction possible, by pointing out that the man sitting opposite him in The Commons is even more hopeless. The public will be left to choose between a cheat and an incompetent.

Meanwhile, protestors have been seen outside of Parliament wearing tee shirts emblazoned with the slogan “I’m Not Boris” and trade was seen to be brisk as people queued to purchase Remaining stock.

Brexit continues.

We’ve got our grubby little mitts on some of those tee shirts. Available in a range of colours from Chatty’s Emporium of delights.

I'm not Boris - Blue
I’m not Boris