A Glasgow-based Doctor Who internet nerd has become enraged that the TARDIS-style police telephone boxes around the city centre are now selling CBD.

Cormac Andrews (34 ½) complained on Doctor Who nerd Valhalla Gallifrey Base this week that he is now unable to go on his Sunday pilgrimage and take photos with these “TARDISes” because they are outfitted as vendors of legal Cannabis oil.

Mr Andrews, unemployed, is an avid fan of cosplay – also known as “playing dress-up” – and is publicly outraged that he has went to the effort of intrinsically recreating the Doctor Who costumes, only to have his Facebook profile pictures ruined by the presence of a hippie squatting in his time machine.

We spoke to one of these idiots working in these CBD Police Boxes but couldn’t get a response over their acid jazz playlist and vape smoke clouding us out.

Despite being dressed as someone who can transcend time and space, Mr Andrews will not be able to outrun the authorities who are currently pursuing him after he called the proprietor of Sauchiehall Street’s CBD Box “a f*cking loser” before threatening him with his sonic screwdriver.

Glasgow City Council have been asked to comment on the materialisation of these CBD boxes but are currently busy counting the rent money they receive and not giving a sh*t what people do with defunct street decorations.

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Written by Eden Luke McIntyre

Eden Luke McIntyre is a script writer, editor, sketch writer/performer, radio producer and all round scrivener. If you've any little job, project or gig that may utilise his talents ping an email to edenluke@chattychimp.co