After yet another dissenting vote led to acrimony and in-fighting, Jeremy Corbyn was fed up and pissed off with his troublesome delegates. Drawing inspiration from Boris Johnson, Jeremy decided to abandon any notion of democracy and prorogue the Labour Party Conference.

A supporter declared it as a stroke of political genius. “Once again Jeremy has stuck by his core principle of avoiding difficult decisions.”  

Meanwhile his deputy, Tom Watson stood on Brighton sea-front scratching his head in puzzlement “But, but, no, hang on, you can’t do that…wait, what happened?”

Delegates were left speechless. “The conference was going along as Labour Party meetings always do, with no-one agreeing on anything. The London Literati were trying to out socialise some Welders from Newcastle and there was a lot of shouting and flag-waving. In the end the only thing it looked like we could agree on was to agree to disagree, but that was a close-run thing. Several Momentum members were considering agreeing with the Progressive’s, just to throw a spanner in the works. The next thing you knew was security were clearing the building, and I was paying £5 for an ice-cream on the seafront.” said one party member.

36 Satirical Newspapers, podcasts and TV shows ran with a variation of the Labour can’t run a piss-up in brewery story and the Daily Mail called Jeremy an enemy of democracy, again.  

Meanwhile, Diane Abbott said she was delighted to be going to the Labour Party conference, next week in Manchester.

Meanwhile Brexit continues.

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