Brexit/Monkey News/The Westminster Monkey House

“I’d have gotten away with it were it not for those pesky kids!” cries Boris

Circus and funhouse manager Bozo Johnson claims he would have gotten away with his dastardly plan if it hadn’t been for those pesky kids.

We had it all sorted, I’d pretended to be a ghost and made the sweet old lady think that she was helping by giving me the keys to the castle. Jacob and the rest of my gang scared everyone out of the House of Horrors. Our plan had worked perfectly, we were all set to clean up and no one knew a thing, then along came those pesky kids.”

The pesky kids in question were a group of teenagers and their dog, Scooby!

“We had tea with this sweet old lady and she told us how she had been tricked into giving up her house keys. Daphne had seen Watchdog and knew this was a bad thing! so we thought we should investigate.” Said Fred.

Once we got inside, things seemed very strange. Who was the creepy guy with the wild hair? Where was John the Caretaker? Why was there a broken sceptre on the floor?  

Startled, the pesky kids quickly fled the strange building and raised the alarm. The local Sherrif formed a posse, who tracked down and apprehended Bozo and his gang of ruthless cutthroats.

What was so appalling was lying to that sweet old lady, she’d never done anyone any harm. It was heartless. If it hadn’t been for those pesky kids he would have gotten away with it!” Said the Sherrif.


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When parliament considers that the best politician to lead the country is a lying, racist called Boris De Piffle Johnson, a man who loses his first six votes in parliament, misleads the Queen and is told by all 11 Justices at the Supreme Court that his actions were unlawful, you have a problem. Hence the None of The Above Tee Shirt. Even if you don’t buy the teeshirt, please use the hashtag #NoTA.

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None of The Above

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