Will Boris be dead or alive when he goes into the ditch? The nation waits

As The Prime Minister pens his request for a Brexit Extension to Monsieur Barnier, the hunt begins for a suitable ditch.

Having promised to end up dead in a ditch rather than ask the EU for an extension the public has flooded Downing Street with suitable locations. Current favourites are; a brackish burn, in Lanarkshire, a slow-flowing stream feeding into the Liverpool Ship canal and a run of soft mud in the Kentish countryside.

One undecided question is; Will Boris be dead before he’s placed in the ditch or is the expectation that he climbs in and waits to die? A recent twitter poll seemed to divide the country, with 52% favouring the die in the ditch option. Whether he will stick to the will of the people is another matter.

The BBC has secured the TV Right’s to the event, much to the delight of many of the more elderly viewers. Gary Lineker and Claire Balding have been drafted in to do the commentary for what has been provisionally titled ‘Ditch of The Day’.

Jeremy Corbyn offered the use of the ditch at the bottom of his allotment as his vegetables could do with being covered in“a ton of shite”. However, Boris has declined Jeremy even that crumb of comfort.

A statement from the EU indicated that they did not feel it necessary for Boris to go to such extreme and uncomfortable lengths. They offered the use of a ditch in a Tuscan vineyard, where the earth is a little warmer. Perhaps, understandably the last thing Boris wants is anything from the Europe.

Meanwhile Brexit continues…


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Now buy the Brexit is some sort of circus Tee Shirt

Given that our Prime Minister has lost every vote on Brexit he has had, has lied to the Queen and Parliament and now admitted he is going to do something he said he definitely wouldn’t it is time to admit that Brexit is a f*cking circus. Just click on the image to choose, colour and size.

Brexit is a f*cking circus and we're in the cheap seats - Fflamddwyn Jones 23.09.19
Brexit is a f*cking circus