Monkey News

Britain to pretend the last three years didn’t happen

Britain is to pretend that the last three years have simply not happened. It’s going to be like Bobby Ewing but without the shower scene. The adults all got together and decided enough was enough and it simply could not go on any longer.

Ian Napton explains, “We had a meeting and thought the whole thing was a complete disaster so the best thing we could do under the circumstances was to pretend it had never happened in the first place. Gillian pointed out that this was very, very British behaviour.”

“It was like when Ellie came home at the end of her first year at Bath, wearing that awful JC4PM badge. We knew she would grow out of it, but the trick is to ignore it until it, simply, goes away.”

We had the same thing with Giles when he moved in with the very nice coloured chap, Sebastian I think his name was. Wonder whatever happened to him? Well, we’ve never talked about it to this day and the whole bally mess sorted itself out.”

When asked for a comment, Jeremy Corbyn said “What do you think I’ve been doing for the last 3 years? But now some middle-class twat pops up with the idea, your suddenly all in favour of it. I’m off to the allotment, sod the lot of you.”

Proponents of the scheme hope that the rest of the world will join, have a nice cup of tea and pretend it never happened. Then everyone can go back to being nice to each other, or at least less mean.

Meanwhile Brexit continues….

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Meanwhile Brexit Continues
Meanwhile Brexit continues

Written by Sir Drinkalot

Once upon a time there was a very naughty little monkey. This little monkey was always to be found in the pub, when he should have been writing stories. Brains often had to go looking for Sir Drinkalot but Brains usually ended up stuck in the pub too.
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