Nicola Sturgeon Sits Behind Sky News Chair Running In General Election

Scotland’s First Minister and Leader of the SNP Nicola Sturgeon has stated her full support for Alan-Whickham Smythe, the Sky News studio chair who last week announced that he was sitting and standing in the General Election.

Ms. Sturgeon, speaking to the Sky News anchor Kay Burley, who accidentally popularised the plight of the office chair and kick-started Whickham-Smythe’s career by giving it a starring role during her report, said:

“Good riddance, the chair was wasted on you lot. Time to let him walk on his own four legs.”

Mr. Whickham-Smythe is presumably delighted by Ms. Sturgeon’s comments and political backing, especially after Scotland’s leader branded him, “a true inspiration to chairs everywhere who’re being made to feel like they’re not part of the furniture.”

Already Ms. Sturgeon’s words are inspiring more pieces of furniture around the country to re-evaluate their standing. This news comes as popular Tory Councillor for Chiswick, Martin Battersby, has been defeated in his local bi-election and his seat taken by another seat. In Government itself, Whickham-Smythe’s efforts have prompted a cabinet reshuffle, and a cabinet reshuffle.

At an SNP conference yesterday, Ms. Sturgeon voiced her thoughts on what is now being branded as “The Great Furniture Clear-out” by saying:

“Mr. Whickham-Smythe is most welcome up here in Scotland, if someone can drag him up the M25. We’d certainly like to devote some time, money and space to his campaign. Besides, we think he’s doing better than Corbyn and that Chaise Longue they’ve got running the Lib Dems.”

Mr. Whickham-Smythe is being delivered to Scotland for his first party conference at the Glasgow Hydro Arena, where it’s thought that of the 7,500 seats inside, eighty percent will be in support of his policies and the rest just “sitting in”.