VAR Review Overturns Result in Battle of Stalingrad

On the 2nd February 1943 the Battle of Stalingrad, a key strategic location in the Soviet Union over which Nazi Germany and the Soviets had fought doggedly during the course of several months in the middle of World War 2, ended in victory for the hosts and a decimation of the German Sixth Army.

But should it have?

Today a team of historians, led by Mike Dean, have announced a decision to overturn the final result, handing a crucial away win to the Germans who, due to a combination of poor defending towards the end of the season, and the eventual collapse of infrastructure, ended up on the losing side.

“We looked very closely at some of the key hand-to-hand combat sequences during the fighting and it’s clear, on several occasions, that several Red Army soldiers are on the wrong side of the German defence when the attack begins” said Mr Dean, with an entirely straight face.

Asked how many soldiers were implicated, Dean suggested it could be thousands. “The review does call into question the entire outcome of the war, the reparations Germany was forced to make for it, the formation of the Eastern Bloc, the Cold War, Putin’s Presidency, the current administration of the German State and, as expected, the legitimacy of the Brexit vote.”

Asked whether they advocated a re-match, the team was cagey, “These things are notoriously tricky to arrange, several of the original participants have perished, though we have managed to find one very old German man, if we can get him a Russian counter-part we might just have at it.”