Harry and Meghan withdraw from full time Royalling

Palace officials have confirmed that Her Majesty is “disappointed” at The Duke and Duchess of Sussex withdrawing from full-time Royalling.

The announcement of Harry and Meghan’s decision to give up their senior roles in the Firm and to seek their own route to financial independence, whilst splitting their time between the UK and North America, has led the world to speculate on how they might achieve this.

Harry’s military background and practical hands-on manner might suggest a possible career as a mechanic. Windsor’s close proximity to Slough and the industrial estates to be found there could offer an abundance of employment opportunities, all within a short commute of Frogmore Cottage. Although stepping back as a Senior Royal, we don’t expect Harry to move out of the £2.4 M taxpayer-funded renovation any time soon.

Harry working on a car
Yeah! It’s the flux capacitor, it’s shot

Meghan’s career as an actress is perhaps of less value in the Berkshire area. Although her hit show Suits made her famous in Hollywood, nobody in the UK had heard of her until she was announced as Harry’s girlfriend. It could be the case, therefore, that a part-time acting job whilst in her native North America might work. And we understand that when in the UK, there are usually openings to present on QVC.

I just love these shoes, Harry likes them too

Fans of The Daily Mail are beside themselves with excitement today as there is no greater guarantee of wall-to-wall coverage of the couple than an attempt to keep a lower profile. “It’s as good as when Diana was here,” one sycophant told us.

Meanwhile, at the Palace, Royal aides are looking at the diaries of the remaining senior family members and trying to work out how Harry and Meghan’s existing commitments might be divvied out. “It’s a problem,” one aide told us. “We’re down to Charlie, Wills and Kate, and Anne if we can get her off her horse. The Queen is too old for this sort of nonsense and Philip is still too likely to cause offence, even now. It looks like Charlie, Wills and Kate are going to be extra busy attending functions for a while.”

Meanwhile, the Monarchy continues.

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