Mr and Mrs Napton, happily married for nigh on 30 years are to divorce. Matters came to a head, when quarantine rules confined them both to the house, for a couple of days.
“Jesus! I never realised what a c&^7 that man is. 30 F&8%ing years we’ve been married and all it took to undo it was 2 days locked in the same house.” Said Mrs Napton.
It seems that the secret to their long relationship lay in the fact that Mr Napton worked away for home all week. Interaction between the couple was limited to a short phone call every evening, while he browsed PornHub on his computer and she watched Eastenders with the sound down.
Weekends were tolerable because they had not seen each other all week and they spent most of Saturday and Sunday playing golf with their friends and drinking copious quantities of alcohol. The same applied to holidays. Now, without these buffer zones, they were forced to talk to each other.
In giving reasons for the separation, Mr Napton cited her endlessly pointless chatter, cleaning fetish and the noise she made when she ate, as aggravating factors. Whilst Mrs Napton, said he didn’t listen, his farting and body odours were lethal weapons and, would it kill him to wash up a fu$%ing plate now and again?
It seems there is no hope for this relationship.