Queen to give up 30% of her income to help out the less fortunate

Her Majesty The Queen is to announce to the nation that she is willing to receive 30% less money from the taxpayer.

One picture of me, another picture of me
A picture of me, and another picture of me

“In these difficult circumstances, one recognises that one must do one’s bit to contribute towards the national effort. Although one has radically slimmed down the active Royal family in recent times, one feels the need to do more. Philip and one joined in with all the clapping, but one still wishes to help further. The Duke of Cambridge tells one that footballers are taking a 30% pay reduction, so one has decided to match their sacrifice. We shall overcome these financially challenging times together.”

The announcement means that Her Majesty’s income for 2020 could be as low as £14 million, meaning that she could struggle to maintain all of her palaces and staff and it’s likely lesser Royals and their households will have to be furloughed. It’s not looking good for Princes Andrew and Edward and their families.

Council House
Liz Windsor’s London Council House

The nationwide lockdown is causing wider problems for the Royal Family, too. Free days out at flower shows and sporting events are currently curtailed. The Duchess of Cambridge is known to be particularly upset.

Meanwhile, despite the sacrifices the Windsors are making, the monarchy continues.


Here are some recent stories


Why not pop over to chattychimp.com for some satirically themed goodies?