The Government have handled Covid-19 brilliantly, says Boris

Growing pressure for an inquiry into their handling of the Covid-19 pandemic has been rejected by the UK government. A spokesperson from No. 10 stated there was no point because they had been brilliant so far.

How are the Government doing, Mr Johnson?

They added “We have been absolutely marvellous and also, because of the estimated £123bn billion spent by the end of October, there won’t be enough money left in the Treasury to buy that amount of whitewash”.

Sources close to the Prime Minister have revealed that if he is forced to set one up, the first port of call to head it will be Sir John Chilcot who led the inquiry into the 2003 Iraq War.

It’s alleged Chilcot would be the favourite because after starting the Iraq War inquiry in 2009, seven years later concluded Tony Blair, the Prime Minister a the time, had been a bit of a scamp and therefore should not be given a knighthood, nor a seat in the House of Lords.

The morally questionable Tony Blair!

Here are some recent stories

SCAM Payments
just a little something extra for your trouble

Government changes procurement rules to the Service Contract Assignment Method (SCAM)

The Service Contract Assignment Method will ensure transparency when it comes to bribes and back handers

I’ve written this transport policy paper, it’s brilliant…

Isolated tribe of Special Advisers roam the corridors of power

It appears that the policies they have devised are so impenetrably convoluted that even the politicians can’t understand them.

Start wit t’cake and then on ‘t second course

Yorkshire people are banned from London

They are easy to identify with their, pasty white skin, glum expression and ginger tinge

Don’t blame me, I didn’t vote for him