Quarantined footballer discovers a book

During the Corona Virus lockdown, many people have become bored watching TV, Netflix and endless YouTube videos. By happenchance, Manchester United’s star striker, Ian Napton, has discovered a book.

The incident occurred when his Chiropodist came around to pamper his tootsies. As she set up her oils and unguents, she took the book from her bag and placed it to one side.

“I was reclining in the lazy-boy, when I noticed this sort of square-shaped, woody thing on the side-table. It had a bright picture on the front, and when I opened it, there were all these pages with words on. Well! This required further investigation, I soon became engrossed in the story. Sucked into a magical world, I was, literally, lost for words. I gave her £50  for the ‘book’, and she promised to bring me lots more. It seems they are very rare things.”

Go on, kick it!

Throughout his life, the star striker has limited reading experience. Ian can identify the difference between such words as ‘Home’ and ‘Visitors’, and he understands the part of his contract that says, ‘We agree to pay you Gazillions of Pounds in return for goals’.

Excited by his discovery, Ian immediately took to Instagram to tell his 3 million followers about his life-changing experience, and announce plans for a £5-million-pound library in his garden. Fans have started a campaign for him to receive an honorary Doctorate from Oxford, Cambridge or somewhere else with lots of books.

Meanwhile, Ian is looking forward to finding out what the silly little bear gets up to next!


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