Where’s Wally are to sponsor Boris Johnson’s world-beating Track and Trace Programme.
A spokesman for the company said, “It seems like a natural fit. If you are out and about, but you ought to be inside, you’re a bit of a Wally, aren’t you? The instructions are clear.”
Under the scheme, Where’s Wally will roll-out state of the art training books to the 25,000 contact tracers. Accreditation relies on completion of the three-book series; Wally goes to Barnard Castle, Wally goes to Specsavers and Wally’s in the Rose Garden.
To assist the Contact Tracers, everyone will receive a red and white stripey jumper, beanie hat and glasses. From the 1st of June, you must wear this costume whenever you are outside of your home.
In his daily briefing, Matt Hancock explained that “This deal shows what a forward-looking and innovative country Britain is, no-one else uses a system like this. Other countries rely on technology that is proven to be reliable, cost-effective and efficient but here in Britain, we like to think outside the box. Boris says this is a world-beating track and trace technology, so it must be!”
The SAGE group undertook a field-test evaluation of the Where’s Wally Track and Trace system, using the Cummings family from North London. They were asked to travel the country, without letting anyone knew where they were, and if possible, to try to misdirect anyone who may be watching. Data analysis showed that despite the family’s best efforts, their every movement was traceable, and the system worked.
Meanwhile, the government continues.
Here are some recent stories
Do you fancy writing for the 83rd Best Satire Site on the Internet?
Think you can write a better story? Why not give it a go? Send your fantastical tale to email@example.com
We look forward to hearing from you.