Rashford says “Don’t you make me come down there and sort this out!”

The Premier League footballer, Marcus Rashford, recently came to public prominence by forcing the government to ‘do the right thing’. Now he has to do it all again, after the Government engaged in chicanery to deny hungry children food.

One Tory MP said “It was awful, there we were, punishing starving children for being poor, and this upstart footballer forces us into an embarrassing U-turn. Well! what’s the world coming to? People don’t know their place anymore. We couldn’t let it go, so we decided to do something sneaky and underhand.”

The latest threat from the Manchester United ball-kicker, came when the government confirmed that when it turns off the cash tap, and jobs are lost, any children who subsequently qualify for the meal vouchers, can’t have them.

Someone who doesn’t like the thought of children going hungry

Understandably, Rashford and his campaigners are incensed by the decision. Apparently, if he does have to come down and sort this out, ‘you aren’t going to like it’.

Meanwhile, people who aren’t keen on the thought of children starving said, “If you don’t change this, we will get Gary Lineker to tweet about it!”.  

“Look, you can’t do this sort of thing. Yes, I know my lunch expenses would feed the children of Bury for a year, but that isn’t the point. I do very important work on behalf of the nation and a good lunch is the least the country can do to show its gratitude.

Overstuffed Tory MP

“If we start feeding starving children, where is the incentive for them to become Premier League Footballers? Hunger is a great motivator. If this Daniel Rashford hadn’t starved as a child, who knows where he would have ended up. Probably playing for Arsenal Rovers!”

The Government continues…


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