President Trump bans Tic-Tac-Toe

Following a humiliating defeat to the 7-year-old Tic-Tac-Toe wunderkind, Billy-Bob Napton, The President reacted badly.

The embarrassing incident happened during the President’s visit to a local school. He went to the Happy Valley School to show everyone that he’s smart enough to finish 3rd Grade. Initially, Donald was disappointed to discover that the school didn’t allow 7 and 8 year-olds to play with guns.

During the afternoon session, Curly-Sue and Billy-Bob gave a demonstration of Tic-Tac-Toe. El Presidente immediately declared “I am the bestest of the bestest at Tic-Tac-Toe” and offered to “take on the winner”.

“Many people believe it’s harder than 3-dimensional chess and only the cleverest people can play it, I’ve heard that’s true. They can’t believe how good I am at it, I’m so good I get extra points”.   

President Donald J Trump, Sociopathic Narcissist

Facing Billy-Bob in a no holds barred, bare-knuckle, fight to the death, he lost the first game to an ‘X’ in the top-right corner. Trump immediately suggested “best of 3”, he lost the second to a ‘0’, in the middle-left box. Things continued in a similar vein until he reached “best of 47?”. Teachers called the match to a halt.

Returning to the White House, the President signed an Executive Order immediately banning Tic-Tac-Toe,. He declared it “Un-American, a threat to society, and not in the National Interest.”

Any suggestion that this story was made up by White House staff, to cover up the President’s failure to correctly spell TikTok is entirely accurate.


Do you fancy writing for the 83rd Best Satire Site on the Internet?

Think you can write a better story? Why not give it a go? Send your fantastical tale to submissions@chattychimp.co

We look forward to hearing from you.


Must be accompanied by an Adult