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Qatar’s bestselling book is ‘How to beat your wife, for Dummies’

how to beat your wife

Qatari Sociologist, Basher Al Hardah’s academic treatise ‘How to beat your wife, for Dummies’ is at the top of the Arab Times best seller list. The handy guide, with its’ simple easy to follow pictures, has proved popular with cowardly, mindless, insecure thugs and the religious.

Basher argues that when applying a beating, it’s important the woman feels the man’s strength and understands his masterfulness. He explains that science has shown this to be the will of God. A half-starved 10th Century goat herder wrote it down, so it must be true.

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Australian wins the 2010 Hide and Seek World Championship

Hide and Seek Champion

Finally a winner has been declared in the 2010 Hide and Seek, World Championships. The Gold Medal has been awarded to Julian from Australia.

Julian was philosophical about his win. “Obviously you train hard for this. There are long hours spent hiding under the bed or the living under the stairs. It’s serious practice and dedication to learn the art of creeping. I’ve lost track of how many nights I spent delivering boxes of Milk Tray to random women.Continue reading “Australian wins the 2010 Hide and Seek World Championship”

Theresa May calls in immigrant workers to replace Brexit cabinet shortfall

New immigrant ministers arrive in uk

Following the latest spate of cabinet resignations, Theresa May was faced with a serious staffing shortfall. In order to solve this problem she has been forced to draught in immigrant ministers from The West Indies.

As the first batch of ministers arrived to help out, the Daily Mail was incandescent with rage. They claimed these immigrant ministers simply won’t understand our culture, or how our government works. Before adding that they would still be living here in 40 years time, probably on benefits.
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Britain’s Black Economy ruined as the UK moves to a cashless economy

Britain's Black Economy Ruined by lack of cash

Britain’s Black Economy lies in ruins as the UK moves to a cashless economy. With banks shutting branches and closing ATM’s, the cash supply is drying up.

It is the most vulnerable in society who feel the effect most, the;  drug dealers, strippers, thieves, forgers, Del Boys, window cleaners, local councillors, MP’s, football managers, taxi-drivers and builders.  Continue reading “Britain’s Black Economy ruined as the UK moves to a cashless economy”

PTBD – Psychologists confirm Post Traumatic Brexit Disorder, is a thing

PTBD -Man shouting

Psychologists, working at the School of Life, have confirmed the existence of PTBD, Post Traumatic Brexit Disorder.

Unheard of before 2016, the condition is now thought to be seriously affecting the mental well being of some 60 million people. Psychologists are asking for urgent steps to be taken in order to reduce the mental trauma currently ruining the lives of millions. Although, ironically, they don’t know what those steps are.

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Shock as Brexit makes buying an Aston Martin more unaffordable for everyday folk

Aston's to become unaffordable to those on benefits

There was outrage and disbelief across the country as Aston Martin revealed the price of their cars would have to rise, following Brexit.

Many of those working on low wages, whose income is topped up by benefits, have seen no increase in payments this year. This means many won’t be able to upgrade to Aston Martin’s latest model. Continue reading “Shock as Brexit makes buying an Aston Martin more unaffordable for everyday folk”

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