Author Archives

identicon

Bernard

Top Shop live up to their name with their new catalogue

Top Shop, this week, reveal their revolutionary new lines. Under the guidance of the exciting young designer, Tara Tara, they have revolutionised their range and gambled on significant changes in fashion.

Mayanna Schmidt, Top Shop’s social media liaison and key influencer, said, “Over the last couple of years we’ve seen that nationalism, patriotism, the military and the super-rich privileged elite have become on trend. Our new range reflects these changes in key social values.”  Continue reading “Top Shop live up to their name with their new catalogue”

Following the successes of the latest Martian landing NASA publicly thank the Thoughts & Prayers team for all their help

Following the safe landing of NASA’s latest Mars explorer, Insight, on to the surface of Mars, NASA wanted to publicly thank all those who made it happen.

Andrew Jackson said, “The landing would not have been possible without the hard work, dedication and expertise of all of those working on the praying team. Without their constant kneeling, praying, bible reading, beseeching, invoking, pleading, finger crossing, Facebook likes and candle lighting, the mission would not have been a success.Continue reading “Following the successes of the latest Martian landing NASA publicly thank the Thoughts & Prayers team for all their help”

Sir Graham Brady has received more than 48 letters saying they no longer have confidence in Jeremy Corbyn

Logo

House of Commons
Sir Archibald Tarquin
House of Commons Wine Bar
London
SW1A 0AA
To: Sir Graham Brady MP
Chair 1922 Committee
House of Commons
London
SW1A 0AA

 

Dear Sir Graham,

I find myself compelled to write you to express my complete lack of confidence in Jeremy Corbyn.
Continue reading “Sir Graham Brady has received more than 48 letters saying they no longer have confidence in Jeremy Corbyn”

Mr Bigski’s plan for World domination almost complete as he takes control of Interpol

Russian supervillain, Mr Bigski’s, plan for World domination is almost complete. The last piece of the jigsaw fell into place when he assumed control of Interpol, the world’s police force.

Having orchestrated Brexit, the breakdown of global democracy, control of the oil and gas supply to the developed world, ownership of Chelsea FC and the election of Donald Trump, the Russian Supervillain’s plan to rule the world through ‘divide and conquer’ is almost complete. Continue reading “Mr Bigski’s plan for World domination almost complete as he takes control of Interpol”

Help us raise money for this year’s Children in Tweed appeal

The Chatty Chimp is proud to help raise funds for this year’s Children-in Tweed appeal.

Every year thousands of middle and upper class children are missing out, as their parents are unable to avoid bespoke tailored tweed suits. This leaves the children at risk of bullying, exclusion and ridicule from their Peer group.  Continue reading “Help us raise money for this year’s Children in Tweed appeal”

22 Year old intern, Giles Cavendish is the surprise appointment as the new Brexit Secretary

Following the expected resignation of Dominic Raab and most of Theresa May’s ministerial team, the Prime Minster makes a stunning political manoeuvre, designed to completely wrongfoot herself, by appointing a 22 year old graduate, Giles Cavendish, to the post of Brexit Secretary. Continue reading “22 Year old intern, Giles Cavendish is the surprise appointment as the new Brexit Secretary”

The Chatty Chimp is owned and operated by Chattychimp Ltd