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Department Store accidently hires Satan for this year’s Christmas Grotto

Due to an unfortunate spelling error, House of Frasier has accidently hired Satan, Lord of Evil, Devourer of Worlds and Harvester of Souls to dish out the Christmas presents to all the little children.

Unfortunately the mistake happened when a dyslexic intern was charged with booking Santa and his little helpers. When the agency returned the contracts, she didn’t realise they’d mis-spelled Santa, and they’d contractually booked Satan.  Continue reading “Department Store accidently hires Satan for this year’s Christmas Grotto”

Southern Fail regret to announce two months of delays and cancellations due to the unexpected arrival of autumn

National embarrassment of a rail company, Southern Fail, have regretfully announced that because of leaves on the line, train travellers can expect a continued programme of misery, despair and all around crappiness.

This weeks excuse is because of the unexpected arrival of autumn. Continue reading “Southern Fail regret to announce two months of delays and cancellations due to the unexpected arrival of autumn”

Hey Ho Hop artists, The Somerset Paddy Ticklers are surprise favourites to win big at the MTV (EU) Awards

Sunday 4th November sees the annual MTV (EU) Award ceremony, to be held in Bilbao. This year’s ceremony looks like throwing up a surprise or two with traditional English counter-culture band, The Somerset Paddy Ticklers tipped to pick up a couple of awards.  Continue reading “Hey Ho Hop artists, The Somerset Paddy Ticklers are surprise favourites to win big at the MTV (EU) Awards”

Trendsetters latest must have accessory is a ginger baby

Following the announcement that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are expecting a baby next year the  newest, trendiest must have accessory is expected to be a ginger baby.

Trendsetters and influencers are predicting a marked increase in the desirability of gingers. Social media expects the new Royal Baby to be ginger, with those who have no understanding of biology claiming ‘if you have a red-haired father, you have red-haired children’. Continue reading “Trendsetters latest must have accessory is a ginger baby”

For Sale – two rubbish bins in Westminster, a snip for a first time buyer at £350,000

The latest des res to hit the booming London property market is this remarkable two bin property in the Victoria Street area of Westminster.

Concealed within the shabby chic façade are two well appointed rooms, providing excellent camouflage from the street. The property is handily located for local services, with tube and rail links close at hand and the council will even come round once a week to do the cleaning. Continue reading “For Sale – two rubbish bins in Westminster, a snip for a first time buyer at £350,000”

Gerald Hancock denied benefits and declared fit for work despite being dead for 7 months

Tracy Hancock was disgusted to learn that her husband, Gerald, has been declared fit for work even though he was registered dead 7 months ago.

The issue came to light when the Department of Work and Pensions completed a home assessment of Mr Hancock’s mental and physical health. He was deemed fit for work as he had two legs, his mental health seemed unimpaired and he’d some communication skills. Continue reading “Gerald Hancock denied benefits and declared fit for work despite being dead for 7 months”

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